DEAR ABBY: Lunches with Negative Nelly leave colleague cold
DEAR ABBY: I recently reconnected with a colleague from work. We were friendly, but not really what I would call friends. We reconnected on social media and have had lunch a few times. The problem is, she has become a very negative, aggressive, angry person. She spends our time bashing family, former colleagues and just about every service professional she has encountered. She refuses to stop talking about politics even though I’ve made it clear I’m not comfortable with it. The first lunch was bad, but I thought I’d give it another shot. The second lunch was worse, and I decided I wouldn’t reach out or make plans again. Then she made a comment that made me feel inclined to try to befriend her. She said she didn’t have a lot of friends. Two or three lunches later, I just CANNOT keep doing it. I’m trying to rid myself of negative influences, some of whom are family members, and I don’t need to continue spending time with this individual. If she reaches out again, should I keep making excuses until she gets the hint, or should I be honest? I’m somewhat afraid of her because, seeing the way she bashes people, I know she would bash me to other people we know, and I could do without that. — MISTAKEN IN NORTH CAROLINA
