DEAR ABBY: Nurse gets a chilly greeting from new colleagues

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DEAR ABBY: I have been a registered nurse for 11 years. I am experienced in hospital floor nursing and clinic nursing, and I have always been well regarded in my field. I have never had a problem forming positive relationships with my co-workers.

I recently moved to a new unit. Although the workflow is slightly different than what I was used to, I have caught on quickly and feel confident in my ability to do the job well. My problem is, none of the nurses seems to like or respect me. They take every opportunity to point out insignificant differences in the way I do things as opposed to how they do them. What it really comes down to is their preference vs. actual protocol. I try daily to engage in conversation, get to know them better and form a supportive and respectful working relationship with each of them. My efforts are met with little or no reciprocation.  

I love the type of work I’m doing. The hours are great, and I have the time to provide great nursing care and serve as an advocate for my patients. However, I have always said I could have the worst job in the world but if I had great relationships with my co-workers, it would make the job much more enjoyable. I now feel I have the best job with the worst co-workers. I have gone home and cried multiple times from feeling frustrated that I’m not accepted. Should I quit and move on? If not, how can I make this better? — DISAPPOINTED IN ARKANSAS

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Change can be difficult for everyone involved, including your co-workers. Because you are new, give it a little more time before deciding whether to move on. If things don’t improve, discuss your feelings of isolation with your supervisor to ensure that the frosty reception you have received doesn’t negatively affect your performance. Then look for another job.

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DEAR ABBY: I am one of three adult siblings. My brother and sister both have children; I do not. I love my nieces and nephews and have always provided birthday and Christmas gifts, as well as sent them money for graduations or other special events.  

My siblings say they no longer want to exchange gifts between the three of us, and just to focus on the kids. I spend several hundred dollars a year on gifts for them and receive no gifts in return. I know that when a gift is given, there should be no expectation of getting one in return, but I think a token gift for my birthday and Christmas wouldn’t be unreasonable. I would be thrilled to receive a $20 gift card to a restaurant. Am I being unreasonable? — LOVING UNCLE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNCLE: Perhaps. From what you have written, I don’t think you would get anything without “prompting.” Instead of dwelling on what you don’t receive, try to concentrate on the attention and affection they DO give you, and you may feel less deprived. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.