Relationship 'icks' disgust men and women differently: Study

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When it comes to “the ick,” triggers that spark repulsion can be split along gender lines, according to a new study.

“The ‘ick’ is that sudden, gut-level repulsion toward someone you were once attracted to,” dating and relationship expert Callisto Adams told The Toronto Sun.

“It often comes from unmet expectations or subconscious dealbreakers — sometimes signalling incompatibility, other times just a personal quirk.”

Researchers out of Azusa Pacific University’s psychology department noted the ick may “superficially signal incompatibility or low mate quality.”

They surveyed single participants ranging in age from 24 to 72, as well as the ick triggers outlined by content creators in TikTok videos (59% male vs. 41% female).

“While the ick may serve an adaptive function by signalling incompatibility, it could also reflect overly rigid rejection thresholds, leading people to dismiss partners based on behaviours or characteristics that superficially signal incompatibility or low mate quality,” the study says.

The researchers first analyzed TikTok videos to identify common icks. Participants then reported their familiarity with the various icks — whether they had experienced them, and how often.

“They rated their likelihood of experiencing the ick both generally and in response to specific behaviours before completing measures of disgust sensitivity, other-oriented perfectionism, and narcissism,” the study noted.

They determined that both genders experience the ick, to varying degrees and causes.

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Women were more likely to experience the ick from misogynistic behaviour, like when a man loudly shushes another girl.

But 40% of women in the study also got the ick from behaviour deemed “gender incongruent,” or what they deemed as “overly feminine,” such as a man laying his head on a woman’s shoulder.

Fashion faux pas also sparked disgust.

On the other hand, men got the ick from physical appearance (a short woman whose “feet didn’t reach the floor,” was one), being overly “trendy,” too vain (such as wearing too much makeup or fake tanner), along with women who are interested in astrology.

As far as “annoying speech,” including “weird slang” and “saying ‘Wow, without me?’” gave both genders the ick.

The study, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, found that women will report greater familiarity with the ick, a higher likelihood of experiencing it, and more frequent experiences than men, because women are more attuned to signals of potential incompatibility or low mate quality.

That said, the researchers noted that due to the small sample size, their results should be interpreted with caution.

Can a relationship survive once the ick has presented itself? Adams has her doubts.

“Once the ick sets in, it’s hard to shake,” she said. “It might fade if someone refocuses on their partner’s positives, but more often, it lingers and leads to a breakup.

Adams added: “If it’s minor, a relationship can survive, but if it’s strong, it’s usually the beginning of the end.”