SEX FILES: Gut feelings: How digestive issues can derail your love life

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For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with anxiety and stomach issues. Whenever I’m stressed or upset, I feel it in my gut – and it’s been this way since I was a kid.

I always thought I’d grow out of it, but my symptoms became worse with age. Following a series of traumatic breakups and less-than-ideal jobs in my 20s, I struggled to socialize and date without debilitating gut issues. When I was eventually diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), it was a relief to finally have a name for what I had been experiencing.

Although I’ve learned to manage my symptoms, my digestive issues, like my anxiety, can be unpredictable. Despite being an extrovert, I am prone to cancelling plans and dates at the last minute because of embarrassing gut issues that make me feel bloated and unattractive.

Although it’s not the sexiest thing to think about, our gut health affects everything – including our sex life. “What’s happening in our gut plays an important role in our overall health and well-being. With gut health impacting everything from mood to sleep, our immune system” says Melissa Jaeger, RD, LD, head of nutrition at MyFitnessPal.

As Jaeger explains, “Our gut and your brain are like two friends texting each other back and forth all day. The signals or messages they send one another can be impacted by the nutrients you consume. When you eat a nutrient-rich diet this leads to a positive conversation.”

However, just like a late-night text to your ex, those texts can take a negative turn when you eat less nutrient-dense foods leading to fogginess and sleep disturbances. “In turn, your gut might produce less neurotransmitters like serotonin (a “happy hormone”), contributing to mood swings, anxiety, and depression,” says Jaeger.

Speaking from personal experience, when I’m feeling anxious, depressed, or sleep-deprived, often the last thing I want to do is be intimate with a partner. The same goes for when I am feeling the brunt of physical symptoms.

Gut health – or lack thereof – can impact a person’s confidence and self-esteem while dating or in a relationship. “While bowel movements are a natural part of our daily lives, having frequent trips to the restroom while on a date may make individuals uncomfortable or feel awkward – especially in front of a new partner,” says Jaeger.

If you want to improve your gut health and boost your dating mojo, adding more fibre to your diet is a great place to start. Jaeger says, “Fibre-rich foods include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, nuts, and seeds to name a few.” These foods feed the healthy bacteria in your gut. “They’re essential for keeping beneficial bacteria happy and healthy, directly impacting how you feel (and the foods you crave!)” says Jaeger.

In addition to upping your fibre intake, you need to stay hydrated. “When you’re dehydrated you may notice you’re irritable, fatigued, unable to concentrate, or have difficulty going to the bathroom – not great if you’re going on a date or trying to communicate with your partner,” says Jaeger. To prevent awkward moments, she suggests that adults aim for about 74 oz (2L) of water for women and 100 oz (3L) for men daily.

It can also be helpful to keep track of how you feel after eating certain foods. “If you are aware of certain trigger foods that cause digestive discomfort it may be helpful to reduce consumption of those foods while out on a date, leading up to the date or prior to physical intimacy to help with symptom management,” says Jaeger.

Lastly, trust your gut and the powerful messages it sends you. As mentioned above, your mind and your gut are in constant communication. If eating a certain food or being around a certain person makes you feel quite literally sick to the stomach, take note and make the necessary adjustments. Your gut and sex life will thank you.