SEX FILES: Why people are prioritizing pets over partners this holiday season

Article content

Every year, my family says they aren’t going to do a big Christmas celebration. It’s just my Mom, sister, and I – single adults with no children. Inevitably though, when faced with the prospect of forgoing a turkey dinner and an elaborate tree with gifts underneath it, someone says, “But what about the cat?”

Our cat, Matilda, is a seventeen-year-old black shorthair who loves Christmas. Although it might be easier to skip the holiday altogether and jet off somewhere warm and sunny instead, we collectively agree that we wouldn’t want to give up watching Matilda enjoy her very own stocking (filled with catnip, naturally) and joyfully roll around in a pile of wrapping paper on Christmas morning. Seeing our cat enjoy the holiday season has become a yearly highlight.

I’m not alone in this sentiment. According to new research by Woofz by nove8, a puppy and dog training app, 51% of respondents admit they prioritize buying gifts for their pets over their partners. However, this phenomenon doesn’t just apply to romantic partners. Notably, 1 in 6 pet parents also admit to spending more on their dog’s presents than on gifts for family and friends. While I could say I’m surprised, I’m not.

In a world where everything feels uncertain and most dating app messages begin with “hey” and end in ghosting, many of my single and childless friends pour their love and affection into their pets. I consulted with Annie-Mae Levy, a professional dog trainer at Woofz to learn more about this shift. When asked why people prioritize their pets during the holiday season and beyond, she says it all comes down to the fact that pets give without taking.

“While we live in the era of situationships and mixed signals, there’s no second-guessing when it comes to your pup’s affection. They won’t hold grudges or roll their eyes when you leave dishes in the sink,” says Levy. And unlike humans, they don’t play games (unless it’s fetch). “So that level of support makes them a reliable and stable source of love. No wonder people want to return the favor with a treat or a new toy!” she says.

While I can’t speak for my married and partnered friends with pets, caring for Matilda involves a lot less drama than attempting to navigate the (very shallow) dating pool in my 40s. Levy agrees. “Relationships with humans can be a rollercoaster, especially nowadays, but dogs are the emotional comfort food of life. They’re always happy to see you, even if you’ve been gone for five minutes.”

In this sense, pets are reliable. Over the past few years, I’ve experienced big life shifts, including the loss of my father and grandma. Not everyone I’ve dated or (even been friends with) has been able to sit with me in my grief. While Matilda is more mercurial than a golden retriever – a true diva in her own right – she always knows when I’m having a bad day. This is part of the appeal of pets, says Levy. “They will always protect and comfort you if you’re upset and you don’t have to say anything.” So, it makes sense that we want to give them gifts to reward them for their unwavering loyalty.

Besides, buying a gift for a partner is hard. For many of us, the anxiety of shopping for a meaningful other is enough to make us break out in full-body hives (Does this “beer of the month” subscription sufficiently demonstrate my undying love? What about these socks?) Pets on the other hand are easy. As long as my gift includes catnip, Matilda won’t judge. Levy says the same is true with dogs, “They’ll love a squeaky toy or a new bone or even a carton box from the present like it’s the best thing ever, and that genuine enthusiasm is contagious.”

While it’s easy to brush aside humans this time of year and focus entirely on your furry friends, let their disposition be an inspiration. “Unlike humans, dogs aren’t materialistic at all, they don’t measure love by gifts or grand gestures,” says Levy. Instead, she says, “What they truly treasure is your time and attention.” I’d argue that many humans feel that way too. While tending to your pet, show the people around you that you love them. If they don’t appreciate or reciprocate your efforts, your pet will be waiting on the couch, ready to snuggle.