Sexsomnia, a.k.a. sleep sex, is a real thing

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If you’ve ever performed a sex act while sleeping, you’re not alone.

Or perhaps you don’t even know you do it if you are alone or sleep next to a really heavy sleeper.

Essentially, it’s like sleepwalking or another behaviour or event one experiences during sleep. In the case of sexomnia, it can be a little more intimate.

“Sexsomnia is a sleep disorder where people engage in sexual behaviour while asleep,” said Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, a clinical psychology and sex/intimacy coach based in London.

“The most common sexual behaviour is masturbation,” and it happens to men more than women, Bisbey told the Toronto Sun.

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Other abnormal behaviours and/or movements that manifest while falling asleep, during sleep or in the process of waking up include sexual vocalizations, spontaneous orgasm, touching a partner and initiating intercourse, according to a 2017 study published in the journal Sleep.

But the disorder is rare. The study examined 16,000 patients over the course of eight years, and only 17 cases were reported.

It should be noted that in 47% of the patients studied, there was a history of sleepwalking and/or night terrors.

The causes of sexomnia vary, added Bisbey, and anything from “sleep apnea, bruxism (teeth grinding), poor sleep hygiene, chronic seizures (temporal and frontal lobe seizures are the most common)” can trigger it.

“Also, environmental factors like alcohol or drug intoxication, even shift work,” could play a role.

“People who have this are unaware of what they are doing while they are doing it – just like sleep walking – and rarely remember their behaviour when awakened,” explained Bisbey.

As far as treatment goes, it varies depending on what’s causing sexomnia in a person.

“Seizure medication works well, a CPAP machine for apnea, or a splint for bruxism,” Bisbey noted.

If the cause is unknown, she recommended developing better sleep habits and to take steps to eliminate any triggers.

For those concerned about lines being crossed, as consent can become an issue for partners of sexsomniacs, sleeping in separate rooms might be the answer.

“There is no consent if someone is asleep, so both parties would need to be careful,” cautioned Bisbey. “If you wake the person, do so gently and slowly.”

She advised: “If you sleep with a sexsomnia sufferer, maximize treatment opportunities and minimize triggers.”