WHO? WHAT? WOW! The week in WEIRD
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PORN VID PROMPTS PENIS PULVERIZING
Brenda Barattini, 27, was less than pleased with amateur auteur boyfriend.
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It seems the Argentine woman was furious her 40-year-old married beau — identified only as Sergio F. — had the temerity to share their sex video with pals.
What’s a girl to do?
Our heroine made a symbolic gesture: She allegedly hacked off Sergio’s penis with a pair of scissors.
“We started to have sex and she told me she was going to give me a little surprise. She put a mask on me, velvet one,” Sergio testified. “After that, she told me to guess what she was touching me with. She also wanted to tie me up, but I didn’t want her to.”
He claimed: “She started to perform oral sex on me. Suddenly I felt something. She wanted to kill me in that second. I felt like I was going to die, I didn’t know she had cut me. I couldn’t see anything.”
Our Brenda now faces attempted murder charges.
LIFE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
A Canadian man has undertaken the thankless task of rating chocolate bars in terms of tastiness.
Bruno Bouchet, 33, pitted 16 bars against each other. On top (in his learned opinion) were Picnics and Turkish Delight.
Beloved bar Milky Way was ridiculed by the chocolate aficionado and he slotted it under the “would rather eat a bucket” category. Twirl, Timeout and Aero were categorized as “pleb tier.” KitKat, Crunchie and Mars were considered “take it or leave it.”
But others weren’t so smitten with Bruno’s rankings.
One commenter remarked: “The only one I agree with is the Bounty. The rest needs to be discussed.”
Another said: “This is a joke … pleb tier should definitely be God tier!
“Who even likes Turkish Delight?”
A third added: “Noooo … this is so totally out of order.”
MUGSHOT MANIA
Vas ist das?
Well, to us it looks like some imbecile channelling Nazi monster Adolf Hitler. Of course, it could be all innocent.
Sorry, didn’t realize. Nah, this guy looks like a tool.
KEEPING UP WITH KARDASHIAN
No, really — Jennifer Pamplona, 27, spent a staggering $625,000 in cosmetic operations to look like her idol Kim Kardashian.
But alas, after more than 20 operations, things appear to have gone off the rails.
Her latest operation has left her with “fish lips.” And Pamplona is vowing, no more.
“After my surgery was done I felt as though I was having a reaction and later on that day they were bleeding a lot and felt very painful,” she said.
“When I saw the result of them I couldn’t believe it – I was completely botched and had been left with fish lips.”
The counterfeit Kardashian is now ruing her numerous procedures.
“When I removed all of the filler I got a lesson – I will never undergo surgery to fix something that’s already good,” she said. “The entire thing was a nightmare, but I’m glad I got my lesson.”
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