These common bedroom lies create barriers to 'genuine' sexual connection

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The bedroom may be considered a sanctuary, a place where intimate moments are shared, but it’s not a room where honesty is always considered the best policy.

During sex, lies are often uttered — but the intentions are more about making a partner feel good, not hurting them. That said, those face-saving lies could do more harm than good and ultimately damage a relationship.

“People think they’re being kind by telling these lies, but they’re actually creating barriers to genuine connection,” said Emily Conway, CEO of adult toy specialist Dragon Toys.

Conway, who has spent years understanding intimate relationships and sexual wellness, said replacing lies with gentle honesty can improve intimacy without killing the mood.

These are the most frequently told bedroom lies and, more importantly, the meaning behind them:

‘I CAME’

Unsurprisingly, the classic fake orgasm topped the list. It’s an attempt to avoid awkwardness, but all this does is create a cycle where your partner thinks they’re doing everything right.

“Faking orgasms might seem kind in the moment, but it’s actually counterproductive,” Conway said. “Your partner can’t improve if they don’t know what’s really working for you.”

‘I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT’

Fake enthusiasm often comes from wanting to please or boost confidence, so the liar in this regard would rather experience discomfort than risk making their partner feel inadequate.

“It’s natural to want to make your partner feel good about themselves, but pretending to enjoy something you don’t will only lead to problems down the line,” Conway insisted.

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‘YOU’RE THE BEST I’VE EVER HAD’

Sure, it’s a flattering remark, but one that usually masks insecurity or inexperience, not to mention it sets unrealistic expectations.

“Excessive praise can actually create performance pressure,” Conway warned. “Genuine compliments about specific things that actually felt good are much more meaningful.”

‘I DON’T NEED FOREPLAY’

This typically stems from wanting to appear either low-maintenance, sexually confident or both. But skipping foreplay reduces pleasure for everyone involved.

“Foreplay isn’t just nice to have, it’s often necessary for proper arousal and enjoyment,” Conway said. “There’s nothing wrong with needing time to get in the mood.”

‘THAT NEVER HAPPENS’

Performance anxiety — whether it’s premature ejaculation, difficulty maintaining arousal or other similar issues — are totally normal, but can become bigger problems when we pretend they don’t exist.

“Sexual hiccups are completely normal,” Conway reassured. “Acknowledging them reduces anxiety and often helps resolve the issue faster than pretending everything’s perfect.”

‘I’M FINE’

Conway said this might be the most damaging lie of all and tends to be about prioritizing a partner’s experience over their own.

“Your comfort and pleasure matter just as much as your partner’s,” Conway emphasized. “Good partners want you to speak up if something isn’t working.”

The biggest misconception is that honesty kills romance, but it’s actually the opposite, she added.

“When you create space for authentic communication, intimacy can improve dramatically,” Conway said.